Jeff and I both come from divorced families, and while I KNEW he was the one for me, I didn't know that we would end up getting married. Jeff mentioned that he thought about asking me to marry him that first summer we were together. It was late in August and it was that typical hot DC night, I can still see us sitting on our stoop talking. I have to admit, I got excited about the thought of being his wife. I started to think about all of the things that would mean and daydream about what our life would be like. And then I started to become one of "those" women. I waited for him to propose and started to ruin a lot of fun things we were doing because my expectations were not met when at the end of the day he hadn't proposed. And poor Jeff, that Christmas he was so sweet and excited, he had bought us a big flat screen tv, and wanted to surprise me. He kept telling me Santa had something he was bringing early. Man was I bummed when two big guys walked into my living room with a giant box. And then one of the guys knocked a picture off the wall when he was walking out of our apartment and broke it. I was so angry and frustrated and annoyed. How awful is that, AND ungrateful! Here I was getting this beautiful tv for our home, something we would both enjoy, and I was upset that it wasn't a ring. Who the heck was I anymore? There were a couple other times in the Spring that I thought, this is it, and again, nope. Mind you the "marriage" talks were still happening and mentioned enough that I was still on high alert. I finally just freaked out one day and told Jeff "no more marriage/proposal talk, if it happens it happens, but I am ruining these amazing things we are doing together in my head because the end of the day doesn't produce a ring." So we tabled it and I was so glad we had that talk, because then I wasn't being a freak, waiting for him to propose anymore. It was the best thing I could have done, because later that year, he did propose and I was so surprised and it made an already wonderful day even that much more memorable. It was August 3, 2008 at the East Wing Gallery under the Calder mobile at a tree that I used to sit at when I was a little girl, and is my most favorite place in D.C. That Mr. Faile, he's good!
We decided we were going to take our time and enjoy being engaged. We didn't feel the need to rush off and have a wedding, plus taking our time would mean we could save more money for expenses. The following summer while I was on break from classes, we decided to start looking at venues and interviewing photographers - since in our minds those were 2 of the most important components to decide on. We looked around at a few places that were in our budget, and tried to find a place that had meaning and felt special. We ended up torn between two places, Glen Echo Park and Woodend Sanctuary at The Audubon Society. Glen Echo is a park that my grandmother would ride the street car out to when she was a little girl, my mom and uncles would frequent there in their childhoods as well, and I myself had many fond memories there. Woodend is a beautiful and tranquil wildlife sanctuary, just outside of DC in Chevy Chase, Maryland. Glen Echo has a fun and light hearted feel to it, with an old bumper car pavillion and a carousel. Sadly, the carousel doesn't run in the later part of the Fall, which was when we wanted to get married, and the park is open to the public while you are having your wedding - which seemed a little weird to us. In the end, we went with Woodend because it was more secluded and the setting was just so beautiful, we felt it would be the perfect backdrop for our ceremony and reception. That summer we also hired our amazing photographer, Heather Zawalick and I randomly found my dress. We decided on November 7, 2010 to get married and would wait to work on more details the following year. It was so nice taking our time deciding on all of the elements for our wedding. Sometimes having a lot of time was a curse because you had too many options, but I never really felt stressed about anything - and there was no "Bridezilla" moment (I hate that term by the way). Everything just fell into place, the way that it should have been. Our ceremony, officiated by my newly internet ordained uncle, was short, sweet and funny - all of the things that Jeff and I are as a couple (well Jeff isn't so short...). The day, while crisp and cool, was amazing. The sun shown down into the grove as we said our vows and it was so wonderful to look out and see everyone there with us. The rest of the day flew by us, and we made sure to stop every so often and just soak it all in and smile and whisper to each other how happy we are.
So, in all of this rambling, I guess the bottom line - the one piece of advice I have - is to take your time. There is no rush, the rest of your life will still be there and your partner will be by your side. Look around you and enjoy the feeling of that moment of the day and making a big commitment to each other and having everyone you love so dearly in one space together. The other piece of advice I hold onto was some that a customer who was celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary with us at work one night said to me; "remember how you felt about each other the very first moment you laid eyes on one another, and hold that in your heart through the years." I still get choked up when I share that.
